


past memories.

by angstyhyungwon



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 23:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18187019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyhyungwon/pseuds/angstyhyungwon
Summary: hyungwon is suffering,secrets that lie within his shell.hoseok is depressed,words that are stuck onto his back.





	past memories.

**Author's Note:**

> this story may contain a lot of triggering elements.   
> please read ahead with caution if you wish to continue on.  
> thank you.

Hoseok and Hyungwon couldn't live a happier life than the one they're living right now.  
They were completely happy, no arguments, no fights.

Until that very day came.

 

Lately, Hyungwon had been avoiding the very touch of his boyfriend,  
Shin Hoseok. Hoseok, not knowing why, thought that he'd done something wrong,  
Though tried to fix it many times, nothing prevailed.

Due to this, the older had come back to his original, depressive state.  
The one where, he faked his smile a lot around everyone but when alone,  
He'd get a migraine and stress about everything.

Hoseok was able to bear with this.  
He's done it all before. When he used to live with his parents;  
Words of insecurity, false and misleading love, he's all gone through it before.  
He's fine with it.

_Eventually, Hyungwon will say he's done with me._

 

"Hyungwon-a." Hoseok called out from the couch,  
As he watched the younger walk in the room and sit beside him,  
"What's up?" He asked, Hoseok looked dead exhausted.

All it took was one hug, and the older was slapped by the face.

Hyungwon kept a distance between them on the couch,   
Deep, heavy and rough breaths escaped his lips as his eyes focused on Hoseok, wide open.  
Hoseok stopped holding his swollen cheek, as tears shot at his eyes.

"H-hyung, I'm. . . So sorry--"  
"No, I-- Should be sorry. I'm guessing you don't love me the way you used to?"

Hoseok grinned widely, tears streamed down onto the couch.  
Hyungwon frowned, "No-- No! Hoseok hyung, no, god."  
"Stop lying. I already know. So, who's the lucky man?" Hoseok laughed, standing up.

" _I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!_ " Hoseok's tone and emotion changed almost instantly as he stood.  
He then screamed again, grabbing his hair and pulling on it tightly. 

He was so **tired**.

"Hoseok. . . Let me explain.--"  
"What is there to explain, it's clear you're done playing with me!"  
Hoseok laughed again, sliding his hands against his face.

  
" _MY BODY WAS ONCE USED FOR ONE'S OWN PLEASURE AND RELIEF!_ "  
Hyungwon stood as well, screaming on top of his lungs.

The older paused in his tracks, his gaze stopped right at his boyfriend's face,  
Watching as the waterfall of tears finally fell down.  
Hoseok's heart stopped, he fucked everything up and got ahead of his own assumptions.

 

"That's why I've been so fucking sensitive whenever you became touchy with me,"  
Hyungwon gripped on his other arm, silently reliving the memories of hell he went through.  
"I'm so fucking scared that you'll do shit to me, I know you won't, but my body thinks otherwise."  
He clenched his teeth together, muffling out a loud wail that happened to escape his throat.

"H--Hyungwon. I'm so. . . Sorry." Hoseok said, voice shattered in a way.  
Guilt stuck on his back, he felt like a mess-up with what he'd done.

"Hoseok, It's okay. It's really okay. . !" Hyungwon cried out,   
Running and hugging Hoseok on his own. 

He'd sob loudly, burying his face into his boyfriend's shoulder.  
"God, don't think I'll ever do anything forceful to you, okay?"  
Hoseok reassured, hugging him back. 

 

As Hyungwon opened up about his problems,  
Hoseok did too as well.  
  
With this, they were able to understand each other more,  
And take some things more slowly until they became comfortable with actions they made.  
Surely, things will be better for them from then on.

 

 

_**&** _

 


End file.
